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Goodbye for now, and a reminder to trust your gut

Full Episode Transcript

Hey, hey, Erin Kelly here. So sad news, well at least sad for me, maybe not for you. But this is going to be my last episode. And here is why. So this morning, in the darkness of my bedroom, I had this jolt of inspiration or epiphany, I guess I should say, in our voice, depending on what term you like to use your gut of, it's time to table the Daily Hive Mind and not like permanently. But because I'm starting to look at, okay, I have a month left in my second trimester.

And for anyone that's been pregnant, like, third trimester is very unpredictable, energy-wise. And also you have to go to the doctor every week, and it's just, you know, it starts, it starts taking up a lot of time. Plus, if anything, having kids and being pregnant has taught me is that you cannot plan you don't have control. So I can, I can pretend like I know my dates, as far as when I'm not going to be available to really work anymore. But I really don't. And so it was just this little flash of intuition that came out of nowhere. And I, of course, fought it because I actually really enjoy this time and having conversations that are just off the cuff. And I've been really enjoying the Daily Hive Mind this season.

And so I was like, No, no, I still have time. But, and I think this is important, whether you're pregnant, or just in terms of burnout, I think it's really important to pay attention to what your inner voice or gut or whatever it is what it's telling you. And a lot of times, at least I know for myself, a lot of times it goes against what you really want to do.

And some of the time, I think that what we think we want to do isn't really what we want to do. It's wrapped up in our evaluation of ourselves and what we think we should be doing. It's pretty complicated. But I think that our inner voice or our gut actually has a better understanding of what we need. And so, you know, it made me really, I was like, okay, that's weird. Where did that come from? And I had to really unpack it.

And I was like, Well, I guess, I really only have like three and a half months, you know, in the most idealistic timeframe before baby comes. And there are a lot of big projects that I want to do. Plus, you know, I think we're gonna be hiring maybe two more people. There's a lot of stuff that needs to happen. And I know that I'm not going to be at my full energy, etc, etc. So even though I really love doing this podcast, and even though I've gotten really good reviews from it, in terms of people reaching out and saying that they really enjoy listening to it, I am going to have to table it until I'm ready to come back.

And I said, you know, in my very first intro, for this season, I was going to talk about maternity leave. And it is really interesting because so this is my third kid. First kid, I was still working as an online business manager, and MemberVault was just kind of the glimmer of our eye like it really wasn't, it wasn't really anything yet. And so I was basically the primary breadwinner at that point. And so I was like, Okay, well, I'm going to take a month, and then I'm going to come back part-time. And that's what I did with my first maternity leave. And it actually worked really well. Because Mike was also working from home he was doing contract development work. And so he was we were able to play hot potato with our one baby.

And I did a lot of work from the couch with a sleeping baby army. And I did a lot of work, you know, at night after the baby went to sleep, and I didn't do so much the early morning thing was first kid I hadn't been introduced to my second kid is the one that is an early riser. And she has she's forced us to become like 5 am people. But I wasn't really there yet. So I did not do the early morning thing. First time around to get worked on but I did do the late night thing so and nap time and all that good stuff. And then with my second pregnancy, maternity leave. And obviously, if you are not planning on getting pregnant or you're not interested in maternity leave, you're probably like this is super boring. But if you are I wanted to share kind of the evolution at least for me. And it's kind of interesting to be in this place.

So second pregnancy, I was full-time with. By the time I got to planning my maternity leave, I was full-time with MemberVault. And so I fully planned. And this is where of my lesson. This is where I started really learning my lessons about planning. I fully plan on coming back and doing the same thing.

So one month off, coming back part-time. I even had like I started booking like one on one calls because I was still working with our users, pretty intensively at that point in a one to one space, you know, partly for market research and also just cash flow and everything. And yeah, that did not happen. I still remember. My second is just been she is a mommy girl, she didn't take a bottle, she wouldn't take a pacifier. So I pretty much have put her down for every nap and every bedtime. And she's two and a half now. So you do the math.

And so yeah, it was just very different, like, she did not really want to go to anyone else. We had a nanny at that point, she would not go to the nanny, it was just like huge, huge meltdowns. We tried everything, it was very stressful. And so I fought it really hard. And I finally just had to evolve my thinking. And so I did a few one to one calls and things early on when she was a baby, with her on me. And I still remember I did one, one VIP call where she woke up halfway through and like spit up all over me.

So that was interesting, doing high-level strategy while dealing with spit up all over me. And a wiggly baby, that was not happy that I was on the phone. So yeah, so that was my experience with my second. And so I had to really start looking at, okay, like maybe I'm not going to be working the way that I've always worked in the past where I'm on my laptop, but I'm doing implementation work.

And I think that was really the beginning of this is before I was really, Mike and I had decided that I was in the CEO role it was very early days with MemberVault, we were very much throwing spaghetti at the wall and like, is this thing and take off like it was a very stressful time period. And a very, like, there's a time period of like a lot of self-discovery. But that is when I started really, really working from my phone and really pushing myself to only do things that I could do for my phone because that was a lot more easy for me to just grab and do in like five to 15 minutes increments.

And you know, again, like I was lucky that I had that option that I could start to evolve. But it was not easy. I had to make a lot of difficult decisions. And again, like I said earlier, in this episode, there were things that I wanted to do that my gut was like, yeah, that's not gonna happen right now. Cuz I actually really liked doing one-to-one work. And it was just, it just was not possible. And every time I would try and schedule things, her nap schedule change, and it was just very stressful. And so I really started to evolve into that like asynchronous workflow, where I wasn't scheduling anything on my calendar, etc, etc. So I would say that I didn't really like come back to a traditional and I maybe I still not on a traditional schedule. But even It was like a year before I started feeling like I had any sort of normalcy and a set schedule.

So that was a really interesting trial by fire evolution time period. So that was my maternity leave was second. And so with third baby, I'm kind of like, who knows, because I'm not only going to be dealing with a newborn, I will also be dealing with two, a five-year-old, and a three-year-old. And I know that they're going to have all emotions having gone through this before. So I am not trying to really schedule anything for myself in terms of being like, I'm going to take one month off, or I'm going to do six months, or I'm not setting any expectations for myself, which is why I can't say that I will be coming back on X date with this podcast.

I will say that I have really enjoyed this podcast, I will continue podcasting. I am going to keep podcasting over on the Vault Podcast because that's once a week and so and those are more repurpose-able, I guess in terms of their more actionable podcast episodes, and so we can turn them into documentation or training, blog posts, etc. A little bit more easily than this is a little bit more specific, right, it's a little bit more conversational. And so it doesn't repurpose quite as well. But I have really enjoyed doing it.

I definitely intend to come back. But not knowing what my reality is going to look like. And knowing that every time I've had a kid, it has things have evolved in a good way business has only grown every time. And I think that it's made because it's made me be ruthlessly efficient and specific, which is important in business.

So yeah, I have really enjoyed it. I am having a hard time saying goodbye. And I look forward to whatever the future holds for our conversations. And know that you can continue to hear from me for at least the next little bit over on the Vault podcast before baby comes. And then I fully intend that when whenever I have recovered from the chaos of having a third kid that I will be coming back and doing podcast as my main activity because it is so scalable and we can turn it into transcript and blog posts and we can turn it into social media posts and we can turn it into trainings and everything and it's pretty easy for me to do quickly. An off the cuff.

So I will be coming back to doing podcasts and just, I'm not sure what that's going to look like yet. So yeah, I hope you have a wonderful rest of the year. I don't know when I'm coming back, I don't know. But yeah, that's, that's my news and, and just really check in with yourself whether you're pregnant or just protecting yourself from burnout check in with your gut.

And if it's telling you something and you're fighting it know that your gut probably knows better than you do, then you're then your brain does, and that it's less, I feel like there's less complications with your gut, it's kind of like, especially if it's like, stuff that comes up when you're dreaming or when you first wake up, because I feel like that's when the real truth happens. Or like when you're taking your shower, like when you're when your brain is relaxed, and you're kind of in a flow state. Like that's when the truth comes out.

And even if your brain fights it, that, that it's important to pay attention to that because your energy is, is priceless. And if you have a full tank, or even half tank, you are going to be so much more effective in your business than if you are trying to do all the things because you want to and you're draining yourself and you're feeling burnt out and you're making decisions from a reactionary place, etc, etc.

So, just a just a pulse check that if you have something that has been weighing on you that your guts been saying like hey, to pay attention to that and make decisions accordingly.


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